Friday, August 12, 2016

Thoughts on C-Sections

This right here.
I'll explain.

A perfect stranger said something to me well over a month ago, and it's been sitting in my brain drawer filed under, "annoying." (Side note: I've always envisioned that inside my brain, I have little file drawers and sometimes when I'm trying to recall something, I have to mentally look through each drawer just to find what I'm thinking of. It's actually kind of weird, I know). The gal meant no harm, and in fact probably had the most encouraging of intentions. But I couldn't help but feel annoyed by her comment - albeit, I could just be hormonal. I'm sure you're wondering what she said:

"God wouldn't do that to you."

We were talking about our kids (what mom's on the playground do) and she asked when I was due with #2. As uncomplicated of a question as this is, I always have a lengthy explanation for "December" because it's all dependent on 1) if we have a c-section, 2) if I go into labor on my own before the scheduled c/s, and 3) how big the baby is. Oh yea. That last one. That's where this whole conversation got wonky.

Us moms like to hear birth stories (at least I do). I love hearing how has a unique entrance into the world. Call me silly, but it's one of my favorite things (next to looking at wedding pictures - again... one of my favorite things!). So anyways, I gave her my way-too-lengthy of an answer of when baby #2 is supposed to be coming into the world and we started talking about our birth stories.

She proceeded to ask why I had a c-section and my answer didn't sit well with her. My answer is actually very straight forward: "I pushed for two hours until the doctor realized that my baby was too big for my pelvic bone." And for the record, I believed my doctor 100%. I don't think he was leading me on, or pressuring me into surgery. I knew good & well that Kensington was bound to be a larger baby (I can thank my 9lb 15oz born husband) so the possibility that she was too big was not out of reach. After explaining this to the mom on the playground (so cliché lolz), without hesitation she said that God wouldn't do that to me. As in, apparently God wouldn't make a baby too big for my pelvic bone - according to her.

Quite frankly, God knew much sooner before I did how much I would come to appreciate my scar. SEE: I did not appreciate the recovery from the c-section but I sincerely and honestly am so proud of my scar. God designed me and I'm pretty sure he didn't "accidentally" give me a baby that was too big for my pelvic bone. God knew exactly what he was doing on June 5, 2015 when I was in labor.

Back when I planned the details of becoming a mother - when I'd have children and how they'd come into this world, the plan that I created in my head ended up looking a lot different than my actual reality. But what I didn't know during my "planning" phase as 23 years old is that God actually had much more in store for me. More than I could've wished for, prayed for, or even imagined. I would absolutely not want anything different for my life - not WHEN I'd have kids, nor HOW they'd come into this world.

Which is the whole reason I have such a peace over baby #2's eventual delivery. I literally have no plan. It'll either be c-section or VBAC and I am 100% content with how God decides this baby will be born.

The mom on the playground knew nothing of my story; how we got pregnant twice now, and my faith in Jesus. I totally don't hold the comment against her, but I do think she was naive to say what she did. I forgot to mention that she herself had a c-section too, but I didn't bother to analyze why she had one. The whole point of this blog post (I think) is to say that there's nothing wrong with having a c-section, and you may in fact come to realize the goodness that can come from seeing the very visible scar which your baby was born out of.