Friday, August 12, 2016

Thoughts on C-Sections

This right here.
I'll explain.

A perfect stranger said something to me well over a month ago, and it's been sitting in my brain drawer filed under, "annoying." (Side note: I've always envisioned that inside my brain, I have little file drawers and sometimes when I'm trying to recall something, I have to mentally look through each drawer just to find what I'm thinking of. It's actually kind of weird, I know). The gal meant no harm, and in fact probably had the most encouraging of intentions. But I couldn't help but feel annoyed by her comment - albeit, I could just be hormonal. I'm sure you're wondering what she said:

"God wouldn't do that to you."

We were talking about our kids (what mom's on the playground do) and she asked when I was due with #2. As uncomplicated of a question as this is, I always have a lengthy explanation for "December" because it's all dependent on 1) if we have a c-section, 2) if I go into labor on my own before the scheduled c/s, and 3) how big the baby is. Oh yea. That last one. That's where this whole conversation got wonky.

Us moms like to hear birth stories (at least I do). I love hearing how every.single.baby has a unique entrance into the world. Call me silly, but it's one of my favorite things (next to looking at wedding pictures - again... one of my favorite things!). So anyways, I gave her my way-too-lengthy of an answer of when baby #2 is supposed to be coming into the world and we started talking about our birth stories.

She proceeded to ask why I had a c-section and my answer didn't sit well with her. My answer is actually very straight forward: "I pushed for two hours until the doctor realized that my baby was too big for my pelvic bone." And for the record, I believed my doctor 100%. I don't think he was leading me on, or pressuring me into surgery. I knew good & well that Kensington was bound to be a larger baby (I can thank my 9lb 15oz born husband) so the possibility that she was too big was not out of reach. After explaining this to the mom on the playground (so cliché lolz), without hesitation she said that God wouldn't do that to me. As in, apparently God wouldn't make a baby too big for my pelvic bone - according to her.

Quite frankly, God knew much sooner before I did how much I would come to appreciate my scar. SEE: I did not appreciate the recovery from the c-section but I sincerely and honestly am so proud of my scar. God designed me and I'm pretty sure he didn't "accidentally" give me a baby that was too big for my pelvic bone. God knew exactly what he was doing on June 5, 2015 when I was in labor.

Back when I planned the details of becoming a mother - when I'd have children and how they'd come into this world, the plan that I created in my head ended up looking a lot different than my actual reality. But what I didn't know during my "planning" phase as 23 years old is that God actually had much more in store for me. More than I could've wished for, prayed for, or even imagined. I would absolutely not want anything different for my life - not WHEN I'd have kids, nor HOW they'd come into this world.

Which is the whole reason I have such a peace over baby #2's eventual delivery. I literally have no plan. It'll either be c-section or VBAC and I am 100% content with how God decides this baby will be born.

The mom on the playground knew nothing of my story; how we got pregnant twice now, and my faith in Jesus. I totally don't hold the comment against her, but I do think she was naive to say what she did. I forgot to mention that she herself had a c-section too, but I didn't bother to analyze why she had one. The whole point of this blog post (I think) is to say that there's nothing wrong with having a c-section, and you may in fact come to realize the goodness that can come from seeing the very visible scar which your baby was born out of.

11 comments:

  1. I had a c-section because my son was breech from our 20 week appointment and on. My OB said that there was possibly a reason he wasn't turning so we scheduled a c-section just to safe. We ended up having to move it due to me developing pre-eclampsia and then I actually ended up going into labor 4 days before my scheduled c-section. I love reading these post because I feel that my labor and delivery was not "wrong" just different. I never thought much about the scar until this post, thank you for that!!

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  2. I always find it funny (and I'm NOT a mom yet so I may be clueless) how willingly strangers/other moms feed you advice like your baby/your story will be the same as theirs was. So crazy. I have a section of my brain for people like that filed under "annoying" as well ;) you're a great momma, girl!

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  3. I agree with you 100% - God knows what he's doing with all babies and births. As long as both baby and mama are safe and healthy then all has gone according to plan!

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  4. Um... Medically speaking yes baby can be to big for ur pelvic bone. My friend had a traumatic labor because her son got stuck on the birth canal for this same reason. They rushed her into surgery and she said she had one doctor pushing baby out and the other pulling. I've actually been meaning to right a post in regards to baby #2's delivery. I never realized how truly traumatized I was from my sons birth until now. Always will be proud of my scar and will never allow someone to speak down on how I had him.

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  5. Whatever is most healthy for that sweet baby is the best! Hope this isn't too nosy but will you be doing any bump pics for pregnancy #2?? I was so excited to maybe get to follow along for this pregnancy too.

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  6. There is 100% nothing wrong with having a c-section or any other medical type procedure or help to bring a baby safely in to this world!!! I hate all the natural birth shaming, the breastfeeding shaming, SAHM vs working mom shaming and everything else that goes on. Our bodies are amazing and can do amazing things. Sometimes they need a little help from a doctor to do said amazing things. So what?

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  7. My friend had the same situation with her little girl. She pushed for awhile and they realized little miss was too big so the doctor got on the table and literally forced the baby out by pushing on her stomach. She ended up bleeding so much and came close to harming herself and the baby with the choices that doctor made. I believe that God puts trials into our lives (as you know with your infertility) to test us and see if we can handle hard things. Your choices are yours and they were what your little family needed. To each their own! I believe there is far too much negativity towards others now, can't we all lift up and support each other as we navigate this scary world?!

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  8. I did not really want to have a c-section, but that was what was best for my child and for me. I get tired of people making judgments about how you delivered. I think that if is what God has for you and your family than that the plan that will guide you. I think that all that matters this you have a healthy baby and mother.

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  9. I had a c-section after 59 hours of labor. I was exhausted and don't know if I could have lasted much longer. I failed to progress past 5 cm. I haven't really thought back too hard about my labor. My husband and I struggled for almost 4 years with infertility so any way my baby came into the world *healthy* is a blessing. Some women I know are just traumatized that they had a c-section and get depressed over it, but I have a healthy son, so I'm not going to wallow in disappointment that I didn't get to push him out. If I'm blessed to have another child I would try for a VBAC, but if I have another c-section after weighing all the options I'm okay with that too. It's in God's hands.

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  10. So glad you write this. My c-section was certainly not my original plan but almost 2 years later it has given me a whole new perspective on birth. For me it is so important that every mamas birth story be respected. All birth is beautiful. Such a great post!

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  11. Girl this about made me cry. I didnt have a c-section because my little one got too far down in my pelvis to quickly for a c-section to happen. But people never believe me when i try explaining to them that she was too big and my pelvis was too small. Luckily with some unconventional methods (that i wont go in to here haha) she finally came out, but not before scaring everyone in the room with a dropping heart rate. But i have so much respect for c-section mamas! If i have a second i will proudly be scheduling a c-section!

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